Leather Spirit: Kundalini & Genitalia

I don't know when I first experienced the rise of energy from the "seat of my pants" to the crown of my being. I would guess that it was early on, since I remember my childhood as being filled with experiences of spirit in my flesh.

In my early twenties, searching for meaning and a renewed vigor to my faith, I had an amazing experience that forever changed my world-view. In traditional, Pentecostal terms, I was "baptized in the Holy Spirit." As I sat in the middle of a circle of tongue speaking fundamentalists, a minister placed his hands on my head and prayed for the Holy Ghost to descend upon me. I had of course been seeking such an event for weeks and it was at that moment (as I later related to my mother) that "a flood of electricity rushed up from the chair I was sitting on and rose through my torso. I felt all the power of Niagara Falls flood through me. If I had touched a dead person at that moment they would have risen back to life, so powerful was the energy I experienced."

To this day (over 25 years later), I can still recall the vividness and exhilaration of those fleeting and eternal moments. That experience, so couched in evangelical Christian terms, is the same called "Kundalini" in the ancient Vedic Scriptures and practiced by many adherents to Eastern spiritual practices.

The paths I have traveled since then have been a following of that fire, an awakening of the power released on that glorious Saturday morning. I've come a long way since then, discovering the power of a mantra, removing from within blocks and prejudices of all sorts, and generally learning to acknowledge and celebrate myself as a gay man.

Many affirm the unity of sex and spirit, and the majority prove it by their denial. The amount of time that religions spend denying and condemning sexual practices is sure proof that these two most powerful dimensions of life are inexorably one. That premise, and its revelation, is the real gift of gayness to the world. Our pride in our sexuality offers freedom, growth, and renewal to a world trapped in self-hatred and loathing for its own flesh. We are matter and our matter matters!

How then can we realize in ourselves the great gift of spiritual sex? How can we lead by example, affirming the beauty of our vaginas and cocks, the power of our genitals, the glory of god that we manifest in our touching, our kissing, our fucking, and our orgasms? The answers lay in five principles that open us to both the experience of ecstasy and the integration of that ecstasy into the lives we daily live.

Principle One: Eclecticism

 My own past reflects the truth that truth is many-splendored, many-sided, and universal. As such, seemingly contradictory "truths" are in fact one in being, one with what is. My "eureka" moments have occurred on many apparently different paths, from many divergent sources. It is the light within me that determines what is true in my life.

 And with the revelation that there are many revelations, comes the openness to pick and choose, to explore the paths that appear. This daring is hard to do. We would much rather bask in easy righteousness, live in complacency, allow our fear of change to maintain an uneasy peace.

 Such self-deception only brings stagnation. The path is filled with lights from many sources. An encounter along the way and a willingness to incorporate all things in the search for truth, for revelation, for wholeness brings more light.

Principle Two: Acceptance of the Physical

 I hasten to add that the next aspect, so often forgotten or — worse yet — purposefully omitted, is that we are physical beings and the matter that we are is the same as the soul that we are.

 A successful (read true to ourselves) search will recognize and celebrate the wonder of creation and the divinity of our humanity. My past has created a present that acknowledges the value of my flesh as equal to the value of my "non-flesh". Yes our search will be spiritual, intellectual, emotional, but for the sake of god who dwells within, our temple needs to be attended to. Indeed it is the temple itself that will brings us our truest revelations.

 The physical needs to be affirmed in love, in care, in touch, in sensation, in nourishment, in being listened to. When we do so, it will lead itself (and us) to our fulfillment.

Principle Three: Integration

 Now that I have emphasized the importance of the physical, I must affirm that our search needs to be holistic, recognizing each aspect of our selves as a part, a sine qua non part, of the whole. We need to satisfy our minds, feel and acknowledge our emotions, honor our intuition, revere our relationships.

 Though we may not be able to do everything at once, the maintaining of balance will go a long way in providing true revelation, increasing our light, and satisfying our longing for the eternal.

Principle Four: Radicalness

 As if you can't tell by now, the successful approach will dive to the root. This may indeed be both the most difficult and the most liberating part of the process. So often I meet people who say they want to find the satisfaction that life is but are unwilling to forsake the very beliefs, feelings, and practices that deny them their personal utopia.

 Radical-ness calls for scorching self-honesty. We need to recognize who we are and where we have been, embracing in a loving but often painfully honest way, the means that will exorcise the demons that block us from the light within. And this process may not be easy. Our fears are strong, our prejudices deep. We really prefer the security of the status quo to the satisfaction of what may be, even when the "comfort" of the now is pure hell.

 The root feeds the whole of our being and it is here that true revelation must make its transformation. Unless we are willing to face our roots, exposing them to light, the denials to which we cling will deny us life itself.

Principle Five: Guided

 But we are not alone. We are one with the whole of the universe. The god within that we wish to know is the God of the universe as well. And so while I affirm the pre-eminence of our selves to teach ourselves: "To thy own self be true." I heartily endorse the acceptance of a guide for the transformation. Whether that be an angel, a guru, a friend, a vision, a lover, or a "professional" is up to your inner knowing.

 My rugged individualism is quick to caution against dependencies that replace an inner teacher with an outer tyrant. On the other hand (maintaining balance and being eclectic), others have much to bring to us.

 Learn from them the practices of meditation, energy balancing and transfer, deep relaxation. Share with them your fears and discoveries, allowing them to comment and reflect with you. Let them view your revelations from their perspective, thereby giving you other sides and broader revelations.

 Allow them, in processes such as co-counseling, group interaction, therapeutic touch, or simply lending a friendly ear, to be your mirror, your sounding board, and your echo.

In Conclusion

 As I sit here typing these ideas, I realize how far along the path of life I have come and am amazed at how little distance that really is. Yes, there are contradicting voices in the world, and in myself as well. Yes, I know the fire can burn and some warn of its danger. I know also that it can please, and others warn about that too!

 I have not taken the opportunity here to lay out the steps that I would give to a student who chose me as outer guide. I can not describe those steps, I can only share my own history. I can only point you to the truth of your own fire, the reality of your own power, the releasing and loving of your own divinity.

 You'll find no encouragement from me to go to a Pentecostal prayer meeting or to learn Sanskrit so you can read the Vedic wisdom. Yes, I may lay my hands on you in prayer or kiss your genitals in worship. The best I can really do is acknowledge you as a fellow traveler, as a guide for me, as the revelation of my own divinity looking across at me from the other that I am.

 How can you rouse the power of Kundalini? How can you find peace? Sister, Brother, as yet, I don't know. I can only state, as forcefully as Love can, that you can do it, and indeed the joy, the truth, is that you will.

About the Author

 Jack Rinella, author of The Master's Manual and Headmaster of the Master & slave Training Institute, is a free-lance writer for several regional and national publications, including Gay Chicago Magazine, Drummer, and The Leather Journal.

 He's the author of The Compleat Slave, to be published by Daedalus next Winter, and has started on a history of gay liberation in Chicago.

 He lives on the North side of Chicago where he passes the time writing, cruising, and falling in love whenever he can.